Journal of the Council of Magickal Arts, Inc.

by Skippy

Many of our fellow pagan brothers and sisters are currently serving in the U.S. military. And trying to serve your country while still maintaining your unique spiritual identity can frequently come with some pretty hefty problems that most people just don't have to worry about.

Take for instance, the issue of body glitter.

My experience with various CMA Beltaine event's is that at any given time, there are several nice young ladies running around wearing nothing but a charming smile and a baggie of glitter. Gods and Goddesses bless every one of them.

And a military pagan finding himself confronted with one or more women wearing only glitter may find themselves making what appears to be the sensible and prudent choice to hug these people.

What the foolish soldier is not considering of course, is the Transitive Glitter Property. Which is to say that any object contains that contains any amount of glitter contacts any other body, they will both now contain equal amounts of glitter, the sum total of which will, for some reason, be dramatically in excess of the total of glitter on the first body.

What this means is that the military pagan will now be covered with glitter as well.

And then he will eventually go back to his tent. And his tent will be covered with glitter. And then he will eventually pack up his tent to go home. And then his car will be covered with glitter. And then sooner or later, he will have to return to his base of origin. And then his home or barracks will be covered with glitter.

And then one fateful morning he will show up for a formation wearing a uniform that he has rather unfortunately put on while inside the previously mentioned glitter-filled home, after having driven to his post in the glitter filled car.

And that, my friends, is how I once spent a rather unproductive morning doing push-ups and explaining to my entire chain of command why I was all "sparkly".

Skippy writes regularly on his blog, Skippy's List